The Courageous One
The highest level of men's professional golf in the U.S. is the PGA Tour. Right below that is the Korn Ferry Tour. It's a God-awful name, but Korn Ferry, an international business consulting firm, is the tour's title sponsor. So, they get to choose the name. Still, the name just invites ridicule, like naming your kid Burp Hognose Smith, or something equally ridiculous. Back in my Omaha days, however, that tour was called the Nationwide Tour, and no one made fun of the name.
I was often asked to help out with the Omaha stop on the tour, which was always fun, yet stressful. One year I served as a rules official for the tournament's Monday qualifier. These are 18-hole events held to determine who gets to play in that week's Nationwide Tour event, among players who had not already qualified to play. There's a great deal on the line for these players, as they are literally playing for their livelihoods. This fact makes the role of rules official both critical and nerve-wracking, as you are sometimes called upon to make a ruling that can literally make or break a player for that week, and possibly for the year.
And that is exactly the position I found myself in on one particularly memorable occasion.
Sparing the long and tedious details, the rules supervisor radioed me that a rules situation had arisen requiring my assistance. Upon my arrival at the scene it was obvious the golfer in question was very concerned about something. The reason for his concern soon became evident.
Long story short, if he'd committed the rules infraction in question he would not qualify for that week's Nationwide Tour event, and thus the large sum of money he'd spent to fly out from California, stay in a hotel, etc., would be wasted. He was very honest about what happened, and he had undoubtedly committed the rules infraction at issue
I knew my ruling would be fairly devastating to his prospects as a struggling professional golfer, but if I looked the other way then he would qualify for that week's tournament while a deserving competitor in the field would not. Delivering the bad news to him was gut-wrenching, for both of us, but he absorbed the blow with the professionalism expected of golfers at that level. He even thanked me for being straightforward with him. I thanked him for his honesty, and told him it was players like him who ensured the integrity of the game and its competitions.
I think about that young man every now and then. He'd clearly, though inadvertently, committed an infraction regarding Rule 8.1a in the USGA Rules of Golf, even though his actions did not in any way help him or improve his score. Still, he was honest about what happened, even knowing the consequences that would befall him.
I don't believe he ever made it as a professional golfer, but I have a feeling he'll do just fine in life.
Master Storyteller
Colter Wall is a Canadian singer/songwriter who harkens the dirge-like imagery of Johnny Cash, with a voice you could lay bricks on. His mastery of the half-rhyme echoes other great songwriters like Merle Haggard and Tom T. Hall. But where he truly separates himself from other artists is his thematic use of the vast Canadian and American prairies in some of his songs to connect with those of us who grew up here in a way that people from other parts of the continent likely fail to grasp. One example is from the song Codeine Dream, “It's more than just the weather that plagues this prairie town/But I won't be seeing you when I come 'round.”
Put simply, he paints masterpieces, and Bald Butte (below) is just one of many.
The Cowardly One
On the flipside of the honest golfer is the true story of a man who built his entire career based on lies and self-promotion. His deceit propelled him to the pinnacle of his field, and with it came wealth, recognition and fame. He bamboozled an entire nation, including the so-called experts. That is, until someone took the time to pull the rug back and peak underneath, ignoring his claims of being an expert, etc.
French serial killer expert Stephane Bourgoin recently confessed that his career was based on lies. Mr. Bourgoin wrote more than 75 books and produced several documentaries on his subject matter. No one questioned his credentials until a small group of private citizens called the 4th Eye began paying close attention to his claims. An investigation soon followed, and Mr. Bourgoin's career came crashing down around him.
Apparently, there are a number of victims’ families he advised who are understandably outraged by his deceit. The same can be said of many police departments and federal investigative agencies who sought his advice.
I'd also hate to be one of the suckers who paid to hear him talk, or who bought any of his books. But, as PT Barnum famously said, “There's one born every minute.”
Gawkers
At that same Monday qualifier there was a golfer from O'Neill, Nebraska, in the field who routinely drove the ball 350+ yards. He either drove the par 4's or had little more than a chip shot left after his tee shot. The par 5's played like short par 4's, never having more than a 9-iron for his second shot. To say this young man's length was prodigious would be a vast understatement.
In spite of his length off the tee he missed qualifying for the tournament by 7 shots, if I recall correctly. The low qualifying score was 62, which is a great score on any course. After the qualifier had finished, the only thing the spectators could talk about was this kid's incredible length. I don't think anyone even bothered to learn the name of the guy that shot the 62.
And so it was. The guy who could bomb the ball but couldn't putt or chip to save his life (in fact, he looked lost with those clubs in his hands) got all the attention from the spectators, while the guy who truly deserved the oohs and ahhs went almost completely unnoticed.
Sparkle and sparks will probably always be more popular than actual results.
Golf Goofs
I once had a guy come to me for a golf lesson who started by telling me, “I don't want to change anything whatsoever. I just want you to teach me how to get better.” After watching him take a few swings it was obvious he had few, if any, positives on which to build a repeating golf swing. I told him about the only advice I could give him that didn't involve changing anything was to practice more. He said he didn't have time to practice. With that, I gave him his $75 back for the lesson that never was and never would be.
That same year I had a young man seek me out who wanted me to help him improve his game so he could play professionally. I asked him the standard question I asked all of my non-beginner students prior to starting the first lesson: What are your strengths and weaknesses? This question is meant to gain insight not just into the golfer's game, but also the golfer's perception of his/her own abilities. This young man's answer told me everything I needed to know.
He said he averaged over 300 yards off the tee, and was always in the fairway. As well, he said he was very accurate with his approach shots to the green, often having short birdie putts. And on the infrequent instances when he missed the green, he said he had a great short game and almost always got up and down for par.
When he finished telling me how amazing his golf game was, I said, “My job is a lot easier if the golfer actually has flaws in his game.” He said he didn't understand what I was saying. I told him he just described Tiger Woods' golf game, “so how am I supposed to improve on that?” He replied, “Well, something's not right because I have a hard time breaking 80.”
That “something" was his perception of his own golf game.
Stay safe, distanced, connected and well.
Sluggo