Where's the Beef?
Who knew the Wendy's “Where's the Beef?” commercials from the early 80's were actually prophetic?
The pandemic's impact on the meat processing industry is starting to show its teeth. Industry analysts have determined that as many as 1 in 5 Wendy’s restaurants are not currently serving beef, according to an analysis of online menus at every location conducted by financial firm Stephens. Wendy's reliance on fresh beef has put them in a more precarious position than their competitors who rely on frozen beef.
Sluggo's on top of the problem, however, as I've contacted Wendy's with an offer to supply ground squirrel meat in the interim. No word yet on their decision, but I have a feeling they'll warm up to the idea of squirrel burgers before long.
Grammar Poem #7
Joe and Me and I
Joe and I
Or Joe and me?
Get rid of Joe, then you'll see.
Did the pretty gal wink at Joe and I?
Or did she wink at Joe and me?
I told Joe to take a hike.
Now I see her wink at me
Instead of seeing her wink at I.
Wait….the pretty gal has a lazy eye.
She didn't wink at Joe or me.
She didn't wink at me.
Um, and she's a rather burly guy.
Seems like Joe and I need to see
The local doctor of optometry.
But we won't tell her what happened
to Joe and me.
Or, at least I won't tell her what happened to me.
Dark Clouds or Rays of Light?
In a major testing effort led by UC San Francisco in San Francisco's Mission District, 90% of people who tested positive for COVID-19 had one thing in common: They have been leaving their homes for work.
Rural South Dakota is a far cry from San Francisco, but some of our state's numbers are also troubling. For example, South Dakota currently has 2,271 total COVID-19 cases, which translates to 308 cases per 100,000 people. By contrast, California has 58,126 total cases, but only 147 cases per 100,000 people. Florida has 37,439 total cases, but only 174 cases per 100,000 people. In other words, a higher percentage of South Dakotans have been infected with the virus than some states with far more population density.
The good news, for lack of a better expression, is that South Dakota's COVID-19 cases are mostly concentrated in and around Sioux Falls. The bad news is that the number of new cases per day across the Midwest is still rising as society begins to “open up.” As well, Sioux Falls is a regional hub for many communities in South Dakota, Minnesota and Iowa.
As the pandemic unfolds, revealing its true measure, we're finding that the poor are being inordinately impacted by the virus. As a recent Associated Press report stated:
Rural people, African Americans and the poor are more likely to work in jobs not conducive to social distancing, such as manufacturing, food processing, etc. They also have less access to health care and so more often delay treatment for chronic conditions, increasing the odds they will spread the virus when they become infected.
One example of this tragic inequity is in rural Southwest Georgia. According to the AP report:
Of the 10 counties with the highest COVID-19 death rate per capita in America, half are in rural Southwest Georgia.
Rural Southwest Georgia and rural South Dakota share many commonalities, but there are also many differences. Let's hope Governor Noem knows what she's doing as she “opens” the state and urges South Dakotans to venture into the unknown.
Because He Cares
President Trump claims America has to “re-open” ASAP because suicides and drug abuse will increase the longer people live in lock down situations. I enjoy watching Trump pretend to care about people. He's actually pretty good at it, until you look just a bit closer.
Suicides and drug abuse have strong connections to mental illness, so it only makes sense that a president so concerned about the welfare of the mentally ill would ensure the wealthiest nation on earth has a world class healthcare system to treat mental illness. Trump, however, has repeatedly tried to cut federal funding for healthcare initiatives and programs specifically designed to improve both access to care and quality of care for those suffering from mental illness. He has also mocked people struggling with mental illness on many occasions, both during the presidential campaign and since he's been in the White House.
Trump has been a wrecking ball to the mentally ill community and the healthcare system we rely on. So, yeah, he's lying again. Even worse, he's now using the mentally ill to try to justify his “open America” campaign.
And just for sheets and giggles, here's a list of countries with better healthcare for the mentally ill than the wealthiest nation on earth:
Luxembourg, Belgium, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark, France, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, England, Spain, and many more.
Hey, but we're spending tens of billions in taxpayer dollars to build a wall in the desert and subsidize a rapidly dying coal industry. Isn't that great?
Interview With Bernie, Part V
SM: Senator, you've pledged to dismantle the industrial prison complex. Can you elaborate on that?
BS: America has the highest incarceration rate in the world. So I ask you, how is it that the wealthiest country in the world has only 4% of the global population but houses 22% of the world's prisoners?
SM: We have more politicians and professional athletes?
BS: I've only been arrested once, and that was for a very good cause. I was protesting segregation in Chicago public schools. That's a very noble cause. And let me say, the police were not very nice. They made me use my one phone call to order them Chinese food. They even made me pay, and all I got was a half-eaten pork egg roll. I'm Jewish, Sluggo. I don't eat pork. Now that's police brutality I tell you.
SM: I grew up Lutheran. Once, when I asked my mom for an egg roll she gave me lutefisk wrapped in lefse.
BS: That's child abuse, Sluggo. I'll have my office call you with the phone number of a psychiatrist I know who specializes is lutefisk traumas. She's incredible.
SM: I probably smelled like rotten fish for a few days, but I don't know that it traumatized me.
BS: Have you seen how you're dressed? Trust me. You definately have PTLD. Your cap is on crooked and your paper thin “GOT MILK?” t-shirt is on backwards. Do you know what TOG KLIM means in Hebrew? It's slang for “I sit on bananas.” Who wears that?
SM: Um, PTLD?
BS: Post Traumatic Lutefisk Disorder. Very tragic. And buy a different shirt. Plaid is nice, brown, maybe tan.
SM: Okay, well, back to the wealthiest country in the world having the highest incarceration rate.
BS: Ask the poor and the African-American communities. They know why we have 22% of the world's prison population. It will take a total dismantling and rebuilding of the system to fix this enormous inequity.
SM: That's another big price tag, senator.
BS: I bet we could fix a lot of these problems if we just use the taxpayer dollars Trump spends on all of his golf trips.
SM: No president has ever played as much golf as Trump.
BS: Anyone that plays with their balls that much should be blind by now.
SM: Uh…
BS: A joke, Sluggo. A joke. You know, play with yourself and you go blind. Stay with me.
SM: Oh. I see.
BS: Did your high school class vote you most likely not to get it?
SM: If they did no one bothered to tell me.
BS: I was voted most likely to have a canoe named after me. That's not even a thing, Sluggo. But you know what? That's the kind of numbskulls we have running the country right now.
SM: So, anyway, President Trump is promoting criminal justice reform. Are you concerned he may be a step ahead of you on this issue?
BS: Trump has a long history of using his vast wealth to file endless appeals. If he's truly interested in criminal justice reform he should create an equal opportunity appeals process whereby all defendants can file endless appeals regardless of ability to pay. As well, every defendant is guaranteed the same quality of attorneys that Trump has. I guarantee our prison population would drop to almost zero then. Now, that's true criminal justice reform.
SM: I can think of a few groups who wouldn't be too happy about that plan.
BS: Let me guess. Are they white and do they go to church faithfully?
SM: That would be one of them.
BS: I'd give my next wad of human ambergris to see them object to that plan openly.
SM: You're not going to…
BS: Again, Sluggo, a joke. Of course I'm not chewing another piece of mule for twenty years.
SM: Gotcha. Thanks.
BS: Or! Or, if that plan is too expensive, as I'm sure Republicans will cry, how about we do the reverse? In other words, every defendant, including Trump, only gets one public defender as their lawyer. There will be so many white Americans in prison the Klan will have to accept Koreans and Eskimos to fill their membership rolls.
SM: How would they get the hood over their parkas?
BS: Again, it's a joke, Sluggo. You've been sitting on too many bananas. The point is, poor people get screwed in our justice system because they can't afford a decent attorney. Meanwhile, the Donald Trumps of the world can afford an army of high-priced attorneys. Those people get away with murder and don't even get a slap on the wrist.
SM: That's a powerful argument, senator. Looks like my time's up. This interview has been very enlightening, senator. I'm kinda new to the whole interview thing. If you don't mind, how did I do?
BS: If this was a test, Sluggo, you passed with flying shades of gray.
SM: Um.
BS: Let me put it this way. Your interview skills are like my cousin Marv. He's been unemployed since the Bay of Pigs because he's holding out for a management position.
SM: I don't follow.
BS: Needs work.
SM: Yeah. It didn't sound like a compliment.
BS: It wasn't. Don't forget, Vote Bernie!
Stay safe, distanced, connected and well.
Sluggo